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dicreasy2This morning, this happened:
So this evening, this gets to happen:
“*Ahem* Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It has come to our attention that there are some absolutely ridiculous rumours circulating with regards to my fiancé and his moustache. The nature of these allegations is faintly absurd, to whit that his moustache is, what I believe is called a “super power” and that it is involved in some way in law enforcement.
“I hardly need to outline how truly silly this is. Whilst it is true my fiancé is blessed with luxuriant facial hair, it is only facial hair. His moustache is not out of the ordinary in any way.
“Actually, that is not quite true. It is extraordinary in its colour, style and thickness, as well as the fact, I am told, Horace needs to use very little wax to keep it in shape. But it is still only facial hair and not endowed with any mystical powers whatsoever.
“And just where has this fanciful notion of it being involved in law enforcement come from? I believe the exact phrase was that it “fights crime.” Which, if I may say so, is a strange turn of phrase. Or at least I think so anyway. I do not believe I have ever heard it before these rumours started to circulate.
“I am left wondering, how would the moustache accomplish this “crime fighting” exactly? Would it be able to restrain the criminal in some way? Or would it stop the perpetrator in his tracks just by dint of perching above my fiancé’s lip and simply being magnificent?
“My point is that there is no way on this earth that facial hair can stop a crime in progress, even if it is the nicest moustache in the land, grown by the most handsome man of my acquaintance.
“Please stop spreading these rumours; you are only going to make yourself look foolish if you continue. Thank you.”
So this evening, this gets to happen:
“*Ahem* Good evening ladies and gentlemen. It has come to our attention that there are some absolutely ridiculous rumours circulating with regards to my fiancé and his moustache. The nature of these allegations is faintly absurd, to whit that his moustache is, what I believe is called a “super power” and that it is involved in some way in law enforcement.
“I hardly need to outline how truly silly this is. Whilst it is true my fiancé is blessed with luxuriant facial hair, it is only facial hair. His moustache is not out of the ordinary in any way.
“Actually, that is not quite true. It is extraordinary in its colour, style and thickness, as well as the fact, I am told, Horace needs to use very little wax to keep it in shape. But it is still only facial hair and not endowed with any mystical powers whatsoever.
“And just where has this fanciful notion of it being involved in law enforcement come from? I believe the exact phrase was that it “fights crime.” Which, if I may say so, is a strange turn of phrase. Or at least I think so anyway. I do not believe I have ever heard it before these rumours started to circulate.
“I am left wondering, how would the moustache accomplish this “crime fighting” exactly? Would it be able to restrain the criminal in some way? Or would it stop the perpetrator in his tracks just by dint of perching above my fiancé’s lip and simply being magnificent?
“My point is that there is no way on this earth that facial hair can stop a crime in progress, even if it is the nicest moustache in the land, grown by the most handsome man of my acquaintance.
“Please stop spreading these rumours; you are only going to make yourself look foolish if you continue. Thank you.”
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no subject
Date: 2013-02-16 03:57 pm (UTC)